


in all but name

by witticaster



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, weird semi-poetic nonsense or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 13:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7107166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witticaster/pseuds/witticaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec chooses his own nickname when he’s fourteen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	in all but name

Alec chooses his own nickname when he’s fourteen.

Alexander is too much.

Al-ex-an-der Light-wood.

Cumbersome. It takes a long time to say it, longer when he’s in trouble. It fills up the spaces on the tops of his papers, leaves no room on forms. He has to size down his letters so the Alexander isn’t in larger letters than the Lightwood. Sometimes he just writes A. Lightwood.

Alexander. This is Alexander, the eldest. Our firstborn, Alexander. When people start to say his name, he just waits for it to be over.

He picks Alec, not Alex. It’s short, the kind of name that you can shout out quickly in the middle of a fight. It ends crisply, it leads well into his surname.

Al-ec Light-wood.

Much better.

It takes time for people to remember the new name, and an even longer time for them to be convinced into using it in the first place. They just don’t understand what all the fuss is about, Alexander, honestly. You have such a strong name, an elegant name, you should be proud of your name.

“Okay, Alec,” Jace says when he brings it up. They’re supposed to use their full legal names for the parabatai ceremony. Alec says “Jace.” Jace says “Alec.”

Alec spits his name out at people who ask for it. It’s over quickly.

Alec.

I’m Alec.

Alec, Alec Lightwood.

Call me Alec.

Alec.

And then Magnus Bane says Alexander, and it feels like a compliment, not an expectation.

Alec stays awake one night dissecting it, trying to remember the tone. Magnus Bane draws his name out to its fullest extent, but Alec hasn’t been waiting to fix it with a “you can call me Alec.” He keeps wanting to hear it again. Sighed, chuckled, exclaimed. Alexander! (Outraged) Alexander? (Gentle) Alexander… (Worried)

Every time they talk, Alec hears his name highlighted in yellow, jumping out at him from the twists of smooth sentences. Thank you, ALEXANDER. He wonders if he’s ever heard his own name so much in his life. He’s happy about it.

It makes the sting a little harder to ignore when Magnus slings “Alec” at him over the rim of a Vodka Sour. The crisp end cracks out of his mouth, and it’s over before Alec knew it was happening.

The more he says it, the more Alec hates it. He can say it with all the warmth he used to put into an Alexander, but there are only two syllables to hear. Alec draws Magnus’s name out as long as he can - it’s easier, soft with vowels, an “s” he can hiss into a shush. Maybe Magnus doesn’t notice, or maybe he doesn’t care. Alec. The “l” collapses into a click at the end. Faster than a snap.

He’s at the altar. The Silent Brother calls him Alec.

Lydia is a nice name; it’s fast, but it flows, like a breeze or a ballerina’s hand. She’d asked him with he’d preferred, Alec or Alexander. He’d shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Magnus comes in, the soft hush of the “s” exhausting all of the air in Alec’s lungs, a breath he doesn’t get back until his lips are on Magnus’s. Alexander and Magnus. An audience to hear how perfect that sounds.

They part. “You never cease to amaze me, Alec.” Smiling, but careful. It makes Alec’s heart selfish for something, insistent, and it makes him pull Magnus aside before they can leave to talk business and Ragnor Fell. It makes him mumble, “Can you call me…” He pauses in front of the name he’s always dodged around.

“Alexander?” says Magnus.

“Alexander,” says Alec.

**Author's Note:**

> ??? I have a lot of feelings and opinions about names I guess


End file.
